...depression

...kanina... *meeh talking to my ateh*

Meeh: San ka na naman pupunta?
Ate: Sa bangko...
Meeh: Kala koh lalayas ka na naman eh... (lalayas... meaning san san pupuntah...)
Ate: Ano problema moh?
Meeh: Ano problema koh? Gusto moh malaman? I have a Major Depressive Disorder.
Ate: *no koment* ...nde moh hinugasan ang dishes kagabi... pinagalitan na naman akoh ni nanay...
Meeh: aw.. sori... sama akoh ha... depressed akoh eh...

then... *conversation w/ my nanay*

Nanay: ...blah blah blah... (...private conversation eh...)
Meeh: ...pinapaiyak nyo na naman akoh eh...
*punta sa salas* *iyak slight sa unan...*
Ate: Hala ayan... pinapaiyak nyoh...
*sumabat akoh...*
Meeh: hay naku... depressed lang akoh...

... nagpapasalamat akoh sa family koh kc kahit papaano naiintindihan nilah akoh... kahit papaano eh mino-motivate nilah akoh at mahal nilah akoh inspite nang mga katopakanz koh... they love me for who i am...

meron bah tlgah akong major depressive disorder?

..i-diagnose koh lang sarili koh...

Symptoms of Depression [the most commong disorder is the Major Depressive Disorder]
...in order to have the disorder you gotta have 5 or more of the following symptoms for minimum of two week period...

• depressed mood ( sadness... )
• weight loss/gain ( affect appetite/lost appetite )
• motor agitation or impairment ( ex. walking slowly, shoulder down )
• fatigue or loss of energy ( feel tired, physical complains such as headaches, pains, sores )
• feelings of worthlessness or guilt (...u feel that ur lower than dirt...)
• change in sleep ( sleep more or less... but sleep well less...)
• concentration impairment ( struggle with concentration...)
• thoughts of death and suicide ( suidal...)
• loss of interest oin previously pleasurable activities...

depressed mood ---> hmmmnnzzz... yeah i'm kinda having depress mood for weeks now...
weight loss/gain ---> nde naman ganoh... although yeah i think i was losing some weight as well....
motor agitation or impairment ---> ..hmmmnnzz.... nde naman....
fatigue or loss of energy ---> ...i feel tired most of d' time lately and yeah I was having some headache too in some days... and i feel like i'm always in low battery mode...
feelings of worthlessness or guilt ---> ... i don't think i feel that way...
change in sleep ---> ...not really... i think... but yeah sometimes when i'm feelin' down i'd rather sleep...
concentration impairment ---> yeah for sure... lately I can't really concentrate well in school....work... w/ my life... goals... things that i have to do... budgeting my time... and so on...
thoughts of death and suicide --->...not really... pero feelin' koh kinukuha na ni God 'ung mababait... eh ba't akoh di pah? (sabi nang friend koh... kc feeling koh lang daw na mabait akoh... )
loss of interest on previously pleasurable activities ---> hmmnzz... i haven't really do a lot of activities lately due to lack of motivation i guess or maybe i juz don't really have time to do it. ... but hmnnz i still love to go shopping... so i guess not...

--- so i think... i definitely have 3 out of 9 symptoms for at least two weeks now. .. so i guess i need 2 more to have the disorder... lolz... hayz! ... juz really feelin' little down lately... i don't really know what's happening to meeh... i'll be fine... God is w/ meeh... =)

background song right now: Who Am I by Casting Crowns (one of my fave christian song...)

---love the message of the song and here are some of its lyrics... ni-reply ni Marco Paolo sa koment koh sa post nyah yang part na lyrics na yan... so i thought i'd post it here since i think i neededed it....

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

Vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling Lord,

You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am I am Yours

GODBLESS! -di