3/17/2009

...depression


...kanina... *meeh talking to my ateh*

Meeh: San ka na naman pupunta?
Ate: Sa bangko...
Meeh: Kala koh lalayas ka na naman eh... (lalayas... meaning san san pupuntah...)
Ate: Ano problema moh?
Meeh: Ano problema koh? Gusto moh malaman? I have a Major Depressive Disorder.
Ate: *no koment* ...nde moh hinugasan ang dishes kagabi... pinagalitan na naman akoh ni nanay...
Meeh: aw.. sori... sama akoh ha... depressed akoh eh...

then... *conversation w/ my nanay*

Nanay: ...blah blah blah... (...private conversation eh...)
Meeh: ...pinapaiyak nyo na naman akoh eh...
*punta sa salas* *iyak slight sa unan...*
Ate: Hala ayan... pinapaiyak nyoh...
*sumabat akoh...*
Meeh: hay naku... depressed lang akoh...

... nagpapasalamat akoh sa family koh kc kahit papaano naiintindihan nilah akoh... kahit papaano eh mino-motivate nilah akoh at mahal nilah akoh inspite nang mga katopakanz koh... they love me for who i am...


meron bah tlgah akong major depressive disorder?

..i-diagnose koh lang sarili koh...

Symptoms of Depression [the most commong disorder is the Major Depressive Disorder]
...in order to have the disorder you gotta have 5 or more of the following symptoms for minimum of two week period...


  • depressed mood ( sadness... )
  • weight loss/gain ( affect appetite/lost appetite )
  • motor agitation or impairment ( ex. walking slowly, shoulder down )
  • fatigue or loss of energy ( feel tired, physical complains such as headaches, pains, sores )
  • feelings of worthlessness or guilt (...u feel that ur lower than dirt...)
  • change in sleep ( sleep more or less... but sleep well less...)
  • concentration impairment ( struggle with concentration...)
  • thoughts of death and suicide ( suidal...)
  • loss of interest oin previously pleasurable activities...

depressed mood ---> hmmmnnzzz... yeah i'm kinda having depress mood for weeks now...
weight loss/gain ---> nde naman ganoh... although yeah i think i was losing some weight as well....
motor agitation or impairment ---> ..hmmmnnzz.... nde naman....
fatigue or loss of energy ---> ...i feel tired most of d' time lately and yeah I was having some headache too in some days... and i feel like i'm always in low battery mode...
feelings of worthlessness or guilt ---> ... i don't think i feel that way...
change in sleep ---> ...not really... i think... but yeah sometimes when i'm feelin' down i'd rather sleep...
concentration impairment ---> yeah for sure... lately I can't really concentrate well in school....work... w/ my life... goals... things that i have to do... budgeting my time... and so on...
thoughts of death and suicide --->...not really... pero feelin' koh kinukuha na ni God 'ung mababait... eh ba't akoh di pah? (sabi nang friend koh... kc feeling koh lang daw na mabait akoh... )
loss of interest on previously pleasurable activities ---> hmmnzz... i haven't really do a lot of activities lately due to lack of motivation i guess or maybe i juz don't really have time to do it. ... but hmnnz i still love to go shopping... so i guess not...

--- so i think... i definitely have 3 out of 9 symptoms for at least two weeks now. .. so i guess i need 2 more to have the disorder... lolz... hayz! ... juz really feelin' little down lately... i don't really know what's happening to meeh... i'll be fine... God is w/ meeh... =)


background song right now: Who Am I by Casting Crowns (one of my fave christian song...)

---love the message of the song and here are some of its lyrics... ni-reply ni Marco Paolo sa koment koh sa post nyah yang part na lyrics na yan... so i thought i'd post it here since i think i neededed it....

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

Vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling Lord,

You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am I am Yours


GODBLESS! -di

23 comments:

  1. aw sis. depressed ka?

    go out with friends.. mas makakabuti kung may kausap ka..

    at wag mo din ipressure maxado ang sarili mo sa mga bagay bagay para hindi ka mafrustrate..

    hmm.. lilipas din yan. smile!:)

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  2. wag na ma depressed mare kow!!ameshuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!labshu dami nmang nagllabs sayow eh, amfness ka ..take care of yourself and always pray pray pray labyuuuuuuuuu..napdaan lang akow

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  3. to Sis Jo:... salamat sistah... slight depression lang... yeah lilipas den toh... yeah titira na lang akoh sa labas para nde na akoh gano ma-depressed... lolz... well don't worry.. di naman akoh pababayaan ni God.. feeling hayz! and (sigh!) lang tlgah... pero yeah again i'll be fine... salamat... =)


    to Mareng Amor:.. aww... how sweet of u to dropped by... dme bang nagmamahal? asan?.. lolz... salamat mare kow... ahmiss u 2... i juz don't sound like ahmiss u kc mejo nasa lo-batt mode... yeah.. lotz of prayers lang tlgah... miss yah... ingatz... =)

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  4. Depressed ba..Hmm, I think it's all in the mind. ;) Anything bothering you lately? Ilabas mo yan, makakasama yan, baka kainin ka pa. Cheer up!

    Remember, Happiness is a choice!
    How I wish I can comfort you now..
    Hugz na lang for you.. :)

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  5. Hey... Ms. Dhi... easy lang... easy... tingin ka na lang sa mga blogness natin... makikita mo mga legs nila... sorry nga lang wala pa yong akin... hehehe... smile naman dya!

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  6. to Ms. Dyan:... i almost wanna cry w/ ur advice... i know itz juz all in my mind... but lately i was really having this mixed emotions... but mostly yeah feeling kinda depressed about some things... yeah i don't wanna feel diz way always.. and true itz a choice... so despite wat i'm feeling right now i wanna choose to be strong for God... alam koh He don't want me to be feelin' diz way... salamat sa *hugz*... =)


    to Marc: ...salamat... yeah dapat inaaply koh right now ang post moh na "as you go through life"... oo nga eh kakikita koh lang nang mga sexyng legs nina kuya Cm and handsome... sige for sure madmeng mag-aabang nang sexy moh reng legs... maiinluv na naman lalo silah sau nyan... tsk.. lolz... ayan nag-smile nah... ingatz... =)

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  7. Wala ako ma-comment, parang ganyan din kasi ako eh...daan ko lang lahat sa blog...

    Ingat na lang palage dhianz, at lagi ngumiti para kahit hindi ok, nagiging ok pa rin lolzz

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  8. eh yung 3 simtomas na sabi mo.. symptoms ng mga inlove yan eh..











    joke lang... trying to cheer you up lang...

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  9. to kuya CM:... i guess yeah lahat naman dumadaan minsan sa depression stage... yeah kaya nga triny koh na ren lang i-blog... itz great to hear den kc ang mga concerns and koments nyoh... i guess i kinda needed dat right now... so yeah i appreciate u droppin' by...again i'll be fine... andyan naman lagi si God... ma-emo lang tlgah minsan sa life... ingatz lagi kuya CM... ingatan ang sexyng legs... ayan... =)


    to Kuya Gillboard: haha... ayan... natawa akoh nang slight sa koment moh... inluv... 'la chismis lang 'un... lolz... thanks for tryin' to cheer me up... i appreciate it... salamat... =)

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  10. Idaan mo na lang sa kain, naku eh kung ako kain lang ng kain ayus lang kasi di naman ako tumataba, wahahaha! o kaya sa tulog, or make yourself busy.

    Been there too, really, many times, na-out grow ko na rin naman.. Hirap kasing mag-stay sa ganyan, parang ang laki laki ng dala dala ko eh feeling ko lang pala yun..

    Mabigat sa loob, masakit sa dibdib.. Isigaw mo kaya, o iiyak mo. O sabihin mo kahit kanino. Find ways to release it... cheers!

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  11. uy ok lang ma-depress pero wag ka papaabot sa suicidal stage ah! tama sabi ng mga nasa taas, ilabas mo! punta ka CR! yaaaaaaah!

    and yup, as long as youre with Him, di ka Nya pababayaan.

    cheer up!

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  12. dont think na abnormal yang sakit mo. it really happens. meron akong friend na ganyan, she even seeked a psychiatrist after committing 2 unsuccessful suicides. Adik no?

    indulge yourself with good food and good laugh! it will help!

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  13. ....naiiyak naman akoh sa mga koment nyoh... hayz... ewan koh... feelin' koh tlgah lately mejo nasa lowest saddest part akoh nang buhay koh... of course i don't wanna have d' disorder... not easy... i don't wanna be always depressed...


    to Ms. Dylan: yeah nde akoh nursing student... lahat na atah sa mundo eh nursing student.. except for meeh... awa ni God plan koh mag major nang psychology... pero haha.. funny noh... akoh ang magiging own psychologist nang sarili koh... kaya nga i was tryin' to diagnose myself... mejo nadagdagan ang symptoms koh as days go on... pero ayoko mapunta sa extreme... i have to stop feelin' diz way bago pa lumala... yeah dinadaan koh sa tulog actually... kain not really parang nde koh gano feel ang mga foods lately... but true gotta make myself bz... true i've felt diz way na ren before... but mejo mas nagiging worse pag tumatagal... but again don't wanna be feelin' diz way.. i wanna be strong for God.. sensya na napahaba reply koh and not sure if kung mababasa moh toh... sabi moh ilabas eh... lolz... yeah naiyak koh na nga nang konti kanina sa kaibigan koh eh...gusto koh makipag-one on one kay God... hayz... salamat ha.. =)


    To Poging Payatot:.. nde naman... sana hwag nga naman den.. well i've thought suicide so many times in my life na ren.. pero more on noon nung bata pa akoh... pero puro thoughts lang... nde koh nagagawa... obviuos bah buhay pa akoh.. lolz... but not really nung lumaki akoh... daz d' last thing i'm gonna do.. well actually ok i'm never gonna do it... i don't own my life... it's God's... wala akong karapatan kitilin itoh... i'm juz really feelin' down daz all... and akoh ren makakatulong i-treat itoh... pero hey salamat sa koment at pakikiramay sa ewan na nararamdaman koh... true God is w/ meeh naman... =)


    to Ms. Chyng:... dapat nga gumagaya akoh sau... i should go out there... magtravel travel so nde masyado ma-focus sa pagiging depressed koh na toh... kc minsan as i stay in my room i get more depressed... yeah ganon tlgah 'ung nangyari sa friend moh... hirap tlgah pag depressed kah... minsan naman ang depressed na tao nde matuloy ang pag-suicide cuz they're not motivated to do it since lack of motivation nga silah... yeah minsan nga ang babaw koh na eh... pinagtatawanan koh ang mga simpleng bagay na feelin' koh mejo nagiging baliw naman atah akoh... lolz... yeah... sige... i'll do things na mapapatawa koh sarili koh... =)


    salamat sa mga advices nyoh... i really appreciate it... hayz... again God is w/ meeh... =)

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  14. hey sis pres di...
    naku kelangan may exit point ka sa lahat ng stress mo para di maipon lahat jan sa loob...
    mabuti na lang 3 out of 9 lang...
    mas marami pa nga ata yung akin jan e...
    anywez, tnx nga pala sa mainit na pagwelcome ulit sa'kin sis ha...
    mis ko na keu ni ate josHy...
    ingats lagi...GBu

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  15. depress??

    inde ko din alam ang gamot dyan... pero siguro mas ok kung lagi kang makikihalubilo sa ibang tao...makisama ka kahit hindi mo feel..makigulo...libangin ang sarili...pero wag kang mamumukmok...sigurado kasi mas madedepress ka lalo... :)

    sa ngayon...smile muna... :)

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  16. Lilipas din yan! Kung titignan mo sa ibang perspective maswerte ka parin. Imagine hindi ka na ka perfect sa depression test? That's another reason to smile....

    Haaaay. Emote lang if you must. But remember when to snap out of it too. Malay mo kung sa pag eemote na yan ang nagiging balakid sa ninanais mo....

    Sa larangan ng emosyon like attracts like. Negativity attracts negative energy. Break the cycle. Sige ka, mababawasan kagandahan mo nyan....tc :)

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  17. Hehe, ito ako oh bumabalik. Checking kung okay ka na...

    Psychology pala ha.. I-therapy mo na rin sarili mo nyan, ahaha! lolz

    GOD BLESS DEE, Everything will be fine. One on one ba? Ayus yun, cge lang!

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  18. Ganda ng poem! ganda din ng kwento...minsan ganayan tlaga ang buhay kahit princess na di prin exempted sa mga bagay-bagay...lol kung ako sayo wag ka maxado kumain - amg exercise ka at mag paganda ka lalo pra sigurado hahabulin ka lalo ng mga admirers mo...lol tc

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  19. Epekto lang ng drugs yan dee!...lolz..

    iwas iwasan na kasi pagiging ADik!...hahaha..jok lang..


    mag shopping ka Dee para mawala yang mga iniisip mo...lolz...

    Ingatz...Godbless..

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  20. to bro Mavs: uy! again... welcome back sa mundong blogsphere... we miss yah... aysowz mas marami pa bah ang symptoms moh saken... ei... kelangan in two week period 'un ha... nd hmmnnzz... nde siguro... eh kung nagkataon eh meron ka nah nung disorder... nde siguro... kuletz eh noh.. salamat... feelin' little better now... ingatz lagi... =)


    to kuya Bhoyet:...yeah makikigulo na lang akoh sa mga tambay sa tabi tabi... wehe... yeah... hayz... kakornihan koh lang kc sa earth yang pagka-deprssed depressed na yan... yeah sige i'm gonna try... magbabagong buhay nah... lolz..salamat sa pakikiramay sa aking kaemohan... smile =) yan.. ingatz lagi... =)


    to kuya DH:... nde naman poem yan ah.... kaw tlgah oo... lyrics po yan nang song... one of my fave christian song... di kah nagbasa noh... lolz.. hmmm nde nga akoh gano kumakain eh... nde kah tlgah nagbasa kuya... lolz... nd sige... mag-eexercise akoh... i'll go to gym... lolz.. and sige magbabalik princess uletz akoh... ingatz lagi.. =)


    to Oracle:..oops nalagpasan kitah... oo nga naman... nde koh naperfect ang test... dapat palah nagcecelebrate akoh ngaun... lolz... may point kah don... me bein' all stressed out is watz holdin' me back on d' things dat i wanna do... and syempre cuz of dat naho-hold back den siguro mga blessings ni God for meeh... yeah sige sabi moh i'll try to break d' cycle... salamat ha... sa pakikiramay den sa kaemohan... oh yeah nga palah... feelin' koh expert kah pagdating sa love... next time kukulitinz kitah about it... okz... ingatz =)

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  21. to Ms. Pretty Dylan:... uy! touched naman koh at pabalik balik kah sa aking maemong mansyon... lolz... salamat... at salamat kc at least may nagbabasa nang reply koment koh... yeah i'm feelin' little better now... salamat sa lahat ha... ganon lang tlgah ang buhay... upz and downz... roller coaster of emotions lang tlgah akoh lately... yeah si God lang tlgah ang madalas kong kinakausap... but i feel na sometimes he getz upset na ren w/ my attitude... pero alam koh naman feelin' koh lang 'un.. he luvz me no matter wat and he luvz me and all of us unconditionally... salamat ha ms. dylan.. ingatz lagi... =)---pag nabasa moh palah toh... pray moh si kuya EJ may operation sya sa saturday daw... sendali pahirit pah.... nurse kah devah... adik lang daw toh sabi ni kuya EJ... pahinging morphine... lolz... =)


    to kuya EJ: ... uy! kaw... pagaling kah... sige... we'll be prayin' for yah... sana naman dehinz malala... you'll be fine kuya... pagaling kah para kay ate iris...para pag-uwi moh sa pinas eh malakas kah nah... kelangan moh 'un... kc... ehem.. haha... lolz... oo nga epekto lang toh nang pagiging adik koh... tsk!...shopping bah?... pahinging pang-shopping.... lolz... ingatz lagi kuya =)

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  22. oi gandang dhee, depressed ka? labanan mo yan. mahirap yn bka mapunta ka doon....doon...lam mo na yun...

    depression can cause you to mental hospalization...hahaha...lolz...

    ingantz lagi gandang dhee....

    pogiAKO

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  23. to handsome:...haha.. mental bah... lolz... don't wori mas feelin' better na akoh today... korni lang tlgah sa buhay at maemo na ewan... but i'll be fine... kelangan koh lang tlgah ilabas ang kadramahan sa system koh minsan... nakakatulong saken... salamat sa madalas na pagdaan sa mansyon koh handsome... ingatz lagi... Godbless! =)

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